


kairos

by shipping_in_a_sea_of_sobs



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Cap Quartet, Cap's Kooky Quartet, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, The avengers are actually like a family in this one, They all deserve better, This is just for me but i hope you enjoy, Through the Years, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, always picking up after you boys, i have cried over these idiots too much for it to not work out, i miss 2012 avengers stan era, i miss my dumbasses, i miss them, reset of mcu, they all share one brain cell and natasha has it all the time, they all still hang out, will i change the ending?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29880975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipping_in_a_sea_of_sobs/pseuds/shipping_in_a_sea_of_sobs
Summary: kairos: the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for action, words, or movement.or;finding the family that was always meant to be, the love that was always meant to be found. a love story that stretches over the decades, and finally within arm's reach. until it no longer is.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Kudos: 5





	kairos

_**February 1940** _

It was cold. Actually, it was fucking cold, fucking freezing, and it nearly took the damn breath out of him. Okay, so, it did take the breath out of him, for that matter. It hit him right in the gut, like a solid punch from someone towering over him. A punch that would oftentimes knock him off his feet, and he'd have to be tugged back up onto them and pulled into the worrying warmth. It was always a constant warmth, quickly covered with a jacket, or a pullover, or just warm arms, that much he was thankful for, at least.

It was his own fault, he knew. He had just left the apartment, needing something, needing space from the enveloping sadness that was beginning to slip in. He could always sense when it was coming, how quickly the quiet and sadness could come, at least, for him. He hadn't been thinking, truly, and hadn't grabbed his coat, or scarf, or even his damn mittens for his small hands. It had been just a rush out the door, one that he would be chided for if he had been caught out in the streets without it on. Which, maybe that was the reason he had done his best to keep his head down, and just to move forward and hidden from any sight, just in case of a familiar face passing by.

Some days were better than others. He knew that, that had been how things had been for a while now. Most days weren’t great at all, but the few he did have seemed to make up for everything that wasn’t quite. He spent far too much time making the walk down to the graveyard, to just... be there, to exist. Some days, he was quiet as could be, doing everything but speaking, while other days, he properly just spoke out loud, as if his mother was still there to hear him. So he could at least feel like he still had someone there for him. Which, he did. Buck was there every day for him, without question. But sometimes, he just felt that lack of it all. He missed her. Every damn day, and sometimes, getting out of the house for a few hours made it a little easier going back to the empty apartment.

This was one of those days, and the snow hadn't stopped him from making that walk down to the grave sight. He quickly began cleaning the top off of the headstone, dragging his bare fingers along the cold and rough marble. It wasn't much, barely anything, honesty. She deserved a million times more than what had been managed to give her, but it was something. Her name, the numbers scrawled into the stone. He had laid fresh flowers there the last time he had visited. But those had been buried in the snow and were beyond recognition, noting quietly that he needed to find a new set for the next time he came, hopefully when there was less snow to worry over.

Most visits were in silence, or near it. They had been close while she had been alive, and even now, he still felt... close. Even though she had been gone a few months now, and he missed her, he knew she was safe. He knew she was at peace, finally, and that made him a little more at peace at the thought. No matter how much he missed her far too much, he wouldn’t want her to be suffering like she had been before.

He struggled every day, entirely, he was alone for the most part. That's why some days he just needed to get out of the apartment. Away from it all, away from the place he had shared with his mom, where he had watched her slowly wither away. It was somewhere he had grown and became who he was, but also lost one of the people that meant the most. It was just hard being in the empty of the apartment, of the rooms he had always seen filled with her. It wasn’t always the easiest to just keep the curtains wide open in the kitchens, or the living room, and to keep the light in.

He had been lucky to have someone there throughout it, someone to be like the light that was missing in his dark room. As silly as it sounded, ridiculous, probably, it was rather true for him. He knew at this point, though, that Bucky would be chiding away at him about not having a coat. That he would quickly be taking his own off and passing it over, grumbling about how he would be getting a cold.

Which, it was true. He more than likely would be catching something from the way he was slowly dragging himself through the snow. His chest felt tight (which, it always did. That was how it had been for as long as he could remember, but the distance in the wind, the deep cold, he was cursing himself for not bringing a damn coat.) And he was doing his best to just pace himself. He couldn’t move too fast, or too slow, and he just needed, going forward, to stay as relaxed as he could manage to be there, and to just finish the walk home.

It was a familiar walk, one he could do with his eyes closed, just pacing himself to try and keep himself steady. If he didn't, he'd probably be curled up and struggling for breath until he could settle back down. He had been stupid, in that decision in itself. He would admit that right now, just from the cold that was settling a chill deep in his bones. It wasn’t too far of a walk, but, each step was starting to feel more like a punch to his lungs, mumbling quiet curses underneath his breath at the feeling of it all.

He kept his head down as he walked, hoping that would keep his face from becoming chapped from the cold and wind, though he could feel it already. He just had to push, to keep walking and keep himself steady enough to make it home without any issues, and he could just curl up under his covers and pretend that nothing was as bad as it actually was. It was his one goal, to just make it home and settle before Bucky got back and came over, to assure that he wouldn't get too crotchety over him having gone out without any sort of protection from the cold.

There weren't many people out in the chill of the morning, most passing by on the other side of the road and going about their own lives, most dressed properly for the cold. Which, the more he noticed, the colder he could swear he felt. He was sure it was his mind, but he had the same exact feeling as a girl rushed past him, just as bare as he seemed to be when it came to coverings from the cold. He knew it had to just be in his mind that he didn't feel nearly as cold as she disappeared around the corner ahead.

He was sure he was just losing it, just wrapping his arms around himself for a bit more warmth how he could manage, even if it wasn't quite any proper change. The action alone made it feel a little better considering.

He had just made it back around the corner, knowing it was just a few blocks away at this point. It would just be a few minutes more, just mumbling underneath his breath as he walked.

He didn't think much as he heard footsteps in the snow ahead of him, just keeping his head tucked down to try and keep the wind from rushing his face. His gaze was down more on his own feet, a small curse leaving him at the sight of the shoes stopped right in front of him. Normally, he'd just mumbled some form of apology and slip around, but he knew that wouldn't help much.

"You're gonna be the death of me, kid."

"You're barely older than me, Buck," he huffed out, lifting his gaze up to meet the other's. "You know how much I hate that word."

"Kid?" Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he adjusted in his spot, his feet planted and keeping most of the wind blocked from his face. He was thankful for that, at least. When he only received a small grunt in return, he just moved to offer out the coat he had folded in his arm. "Not even a scarf?"

"Shuddup," Steve mumbled under his breath, taking the coat rather quickly to bundle up around himself, thankful for the warmth that came so easily with it. "I just forgot it." That was his answer, at least, a small grumble leaving him as someone on the sidewalk pushed past rather roughly to move past them.

Bucky just let out a small hum of acknowledgement, though, he wasn't entirely sure on that one. The other was… well, reckless was the word he was sure he used the most. Or, well, the one that his mom used to describe his best friend the most.

"I know you're judging me, stop it," Steve grumbled, shooting the taller man a stare over his shoulder, only causing a laugh to leave him.

"You're welcome. By the way." It was how things normally were. He was just glad he had managed to stop by and caught quickly the lack of Steve and the left behind coat on the couch.

That was one good thing, he considered, knowing Steve well enough that there were only a handful of places that he would have rushed off to. It certainly was pure luck in that case. He was just glad that he finally managed some form of sight on him.

He just moved to settle with him, walking along the snow covered sidewalk with the other. "If you keep walking out in the cold like this, you'll be a damn popsicle by the end of it."

"Shuddup," Steve just grunted out, staring up to the taller with a squinted gaze, knowing it would be mostly picking. It had been exactly what he had expected, of course. Picking and teasing, just like he always did, one way or another.

Bucky just let out a small laugh, giving his smaller frame a nudge as they walked. "You love me, you know that," he teased, another laugh leaving him at the harsh gaze that Steve shot him once more. "Lets get your ass home," he snickered, just tucking forward to get him back home.

He would entirely just force Steve to sit and get warmed up under a few blankets once he got him back to the apartment. It had happened far too much that winter. He would always wind up moving around the small kitchen to work up something warm, even as grumbled and fussed over being taken care of from the snow.

He was nearly around the corner of the street, knowing they were close enough to Steve's apartment, that the cold wouldn't be an issue much longer. He quickly turned his head, his lips parting to speak, only to be met by… no Steve.

A small groan left his lips, quickly turning on his heel to make his way back down the sidewalk. Steve hadn't gone past him while walking, so the only answer was back. Or, by his luck, and his assumption, an alleyway that Steve certainly shouldn't have managed himself to go down.

He was hoping that was the last place he would find him, but judging by the small noise of a scuffle in passing, he knew it was bound to be him. "Steve, hell," he mumbled under his breath, just barely catching sight of the smaller man standing far too close to a man who was looming over him.

It happened far too often, and there was no telling what had dragged Steve down the alleyway without any sort of warning. But it had clearly been enough when he saw a fist fly, cursing quickly underneath his breath as he pushed his way down the alley.

All he could see was Steve's form disappearing from his sight, his eyes narrowing and quickly grabbing the shoulder of the man that had thrown the punch.

The only recognition that flashed over his face was he had pushed past them not long before. And if it were any other moment, he would have just dragged Steve back before something went south. He didn't give that a chance, though, quickly throwing his own punch, cursing underneath his breath as the other man stumbled back and slipped, more than thankful that he seemed knocked out, or, well, at least on the ground and not moving anytime soon.

"What the hell are you thinking?" His tone was just above a hushed tone, knowing he didn't need to raise his voice too loud. Or else someone might overhear and try to figure out just why there were now two men down on their asses. And one very clearly with bruising knuckles on his own feet.

He just barely met Steve's gaze, whose gaze quickly darted behind the trash cans he himself was down beside, only causing his own to do the same.

He would have properly dragged Steve out of the alley without a single thought as usual. He would have dragged him back to his apartment, and grabbed a cold pack to try and keep any swelling from becoming an issue. This, though, had him pausing and quickly tucking down himself beside Steve. "You okay?"

Steve just nodded at the thought, adjusting to work his jacket off of him. It was freezing, his head felt like it was pounding and from the feeling of it, his lip was likely busted. But he wasn't nearly as cold compared to the wide eyed gaze he had met.

"I got it." Bucky's voice sounded, quickly moving to take his own off, before passing it over to Steve to hold for him.

His movements were slow, careful, as he reached to push the trash cans back, meeting a wide eyed gaze first, tucked down and small in comparison to him. Even in the hunched down position he was currently in.

"You look cold," he spoke gently, his tone soft and reassuring. It was a tone he used a bit more often than he'd like to admit when it came to Steve.

The eyes quickly darted between them both, before behind them, searching for any sign of the other man.

"He won't be a bother." Well, Bucky couldn't promise that, but, for the moment being, he wouldn’t be. He hadn't made much noise, and he could only assume that he was out. "D'ya have somewhere to be?"

The quiet from the form in front of him was enough, just shifting to reach and take the coat from Steve. "It’s pretty cold outside, ya know?” He was doing his best to keep his tone soft, even, not wanting to raise it much, though the concern in his tone was clearly growing in sound.

He just barely got a nod, which caused a small smile to find its way to his lips, glancing back to Steve for a few moments. “Take this,” he mumbled, offering outhis jacket. Which could have gone a number of ways, he figured. But it was worth it to see if he could even get a little bit of movement there.

It took a few moments of quiet before a small arm reached out for the jacket and were easily drowning in the warmth of the fabric.

“There we go,” he breathed, glancing back to Steve once more. “This is Steve,” he spoke, gesturing to the smaller form beside him. “‘m James- Bucky.”

There was no response, just a pair of eyes flickering between the two of them, looking a little less unsure as each moment passed them.

“Are you hungry?” Steve’s voice sounded behind him, just as careful and questioning. Helpful, honestly, like he was showing a worry there. Which, given the fact his lip was split open, Bucky figured that he certainly was.

When he didn’t get an answer, he just shifted on his knees with a soft breath. “I’ve got soup. And tea. Just a few blocks. Pretty warm too.”

The silence was immense, the only proper sound was the passing of people down the street, and three chests aching as they breathed in the cold air.

If he hadn’t been looking directly at the form, he would have missed the little nod that had come in the form of an answer. Which only caused an easy breath to leave him in response, giving Bucky a little nudge.

“I got it,” Bucky mumbled, giving them both a smile before he quickly made his way to the end of the alley. It was more to assure that there weren’t anyone passing, especially anyone that may question why two had gone down and three were coming back. Especially with the state two of them were in.

Steve offered another little smile, just barely anything. But it was friendly, gentle. Much different compared to the look on the face of the man that had once been standing in front of the form. Which, maybe that was why he had gotten the response he had.

He certainly didn’t loom in height the same way, which maybe was helpful in the willingness of it all. “Here.” His hand reached out there, sure he couldn’t be much help. But maybe it would be enough.

It took some shuffling, adjusting, and small glances behind them before he had aided the body from the ground.

“Just a few minutes,” he assured, offering his arm out to be taken. It was there to at least make it a bit more comfortable.

It took some shuffling to get down the alleyway, a little more difficult with two bodies pressed close. But they managed it, pausing behind Bucky as he waited for the sidewalk to be clear enough.

They could fit all three on the sidewalk, far easier with the two smaller frames walking alongside him. He was at least grateful that they were just right around the corner from the apartment, to get away from the cold.

It was silent, for a while, the sound of feet along the snow seeming to echo in the cold of the air. The world just passing by the three of them, without a car in the world. Every person passing by or crossing the street far from even noticing or paying attention to the bruises, or the bloody lips. Just, passing by without hesitation, trying their own best to get out of the cold.

They were right around the corner of Steve’s apartment when the silent finally filtered away. It would have been missed, honestly, if the streets were a little more crowded, a little more alive like they were on the warmer mornings.

It was quiet, a small sound that took Bucky off guard as it came from in between him and Steve. He would have had to ask for it to be repeated any other day, but the word seemed to be stuck in the air between.

“Natasha.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this! Next chapter coming soon!


End file.
